Over the long weekend, your mother got some new pants (and I don't mean 'trousers'), they are not just normal pants, these are super giant pants (SGP for short), it could easily cover the whole of the Grand Canyon :)
To be fair, I am not really that slim either, in fact I don't think I have ever been slim :) since we knew that you were here about 8 months ago, I have been gaining the Kgs steadily, actually at about the same rate as our inflation rate... (which is terrible... hee hee).
This afternoon I've received a long e-mail from your Uncle James, Uncle James is a friend of mine since our years together at the University (back in England), and here was how we've met...
It must have been some time in the spring during the first year at the University, I was waiting for the mandatory first year 'Electronic' class, I think the lecturer was either a second or a third cousin of Count Dracula himself, the accent was perfect and the hair was almost identical (not to mention the laugh), all that was missing were the fangs and cloak.
Anyway, I was just sitting there (on the floor) minding my own business, over 8,000 miles away from home, and your Uncle James (I think he must have been bored) simply kicked me (to get my attention, he could have just said hello, but it must me a Northampton thing (just kidding)).
After getting my attention, he then followed up with a barrage of questions (not that dissimilar to the Spanish Inquisition), after about 5 minutes he had managed to extort everything... and I mean everything, he knew me better that your grandparents ever did.
Uncle James, Chris, Mark and I ended up sharing several houses during our years at the Uni, Uncle John was fortunate enough to have his own place (lucky git) :) There are loads more stupidity I can share with you when you are older, especially when we decided to drive in the middle of the night to a supposedly haunted castle, then got stopped by your Uncle John's uncle who was a policeman... say no more...
Anyway, Uncle James is also expecting his own bundle of joy, if all goes as plan he/she should only be one week older than you are :)